I have always wanted to do something to help women. From what I have been through in my own life, I know how much it can change things when a woman stands on her own feet. That is why I keep coming back to one idea: financial independence. I am in my 50s now, and the older I get, the more strongly I feel that no woman should have to wait for the right time to build it.
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The Comfort Zone After Marriage
For many women of my generation, the comfort zone arrives after marriage. The house, the children and the daily routine slowly become our whole world, and we are happy there. There is nothing wrong with being happy at home. But somewhere along the way, many of us stopped asking what else we might do. Stepping out of that comfort zone started to feel like too much trouble, and then like it was too late.
All the Things We Do That Nobody Sees
Think about what an ordinary day asks of a woman at home. We cook and we clean. We drive. We sit with the children over their studies. We keep the house in order, we look after the household help if there is any, and we decide what curries need to be made every single day. We do all of this at the same time, and we rarely stop to count it as work.
Among friends, we sometimes joke about it. If we had put this much effort into our studies years ago, we would be sitting in some grand post by now, perhaps as a collector or in some senior administrative role. We laugh, but the joke has a point.
Taken for Granted
And what do we get for all of it? In terms of pay, nothing. There has been talk from time to time of giving a homemaker’s work formal recognition, even of making it paid. But in most homes, nothing has changed, and the work is simply taken for granted.
Sometimes it is the husband, sometimes the wider family, and sometimes even the children who forget how much goes into running a home. A child may look at a mother who is always at home and think she has nothing much to do. They do not see the hundred small things that were done before they noticed them, because when it is done well, nobody sees it at all.
I think of the generation before ours, too. Many mothers then would fall sick and say nothing, because they did not want to trouble the husband or the children. In our time, thankfully, we speak up when we are unwell. That is a change worth being grateful for, and I would like to see the same change in how we value ourselves.
Why Financial Independence Matters
This is what I keep telling the girls I meet: financial independence is very important. It is not about proving anything to anyone. When a woman has an income of her own, she is not taken for granted in the same way. She has a say and a choice, and the people closest to her notice that too.
It changes how we feel about ourselves as well. Even a small, steady income, earned through our own effort, tells us that our abilities count outside the walls of the house. Organisations like UN Women work on women’s economic empowerment around the world, including on measuring the unpaid care work that women do at home, which shows that this is not only a personal concern.
What We Can Do from Home
The good news is that this is no longer as hard as it used to be. Today there are many ways to work from home. We can write online, take classes, tutor students on the internet, or mentor others. The skills we have built over the years, in teaching, in managing people and time, in simply getting things done, can become something we offer to the world, and a step towards financial independence.
I am not saying that it is easy to begin, especially for those of us who have been away from work for years. It takes courage to step out of a comfortable routine. But we should make the effort to bring our potential outside. Even if it feels late, it is not too late, and when we do, I believe we earn a different kind of respect, even from the people dearest to us.
One Woman to Another
I write this as one woman to another. The work we do at home is real work, and we are allowed to want more for ourselves, whatever our age. If something in you has been saying that you want to do something of your own, take that as a small nudge. Take the first step, even if it is a very small one.
I would love to hear what you are planning, or what is holding you back.
More from my journey: What They Don’t See When They Say “Wow, You’re Doing a PhD”