Nobody applauds a folded shirt. Yet the unseen work of mothers is what keeps every home running, and I learned this by watching my elder sister for most of my life.
Table of Contents
The Unseen Work of Mothers Starts Early
My elder sister got married when she was barely 21, while she was still doing her UG in Home Science. Studies and a career were never her big dream. She loved romance novels, Mills & Boon above all, and she chose to pour her energy into building a home. She cooks superbly, and that alone could be a full-time job.
She raised her two children with great care. She also kept a house full of life. Our family never had a dog or a cat, but in her home there have always been one or two dogs. Today it is Leo and Zoyi, and Ishi, who passed away recently, was loved just as much. She bathes them, cooks for them and looks after them without a single qualm.
The Work Nobody Notices
Think of an ordinary day in her house. Here is some of what happens without anyone asking, thanking or even noticing:
- Clothes are folded and kept in each person’s own shelf.
- The dining table is wiped after every single meal.
- Curtains, bedsheets and sofa covers are washed, by hand or by machine, whichever the situation needs.
- Food is cooked for the dogs, and the dogs are bathed.
- She turns into a one-woman taxi service for tuition, music and dance classes, and for airport or railway station pickups at any odd hour.
None of this will ever appear on a résumé. This is the unseen work of mothers: no one schedules it, and no one thanks her for it, until the day it stops. UN Women notes that women do about 16 billion hours of unpaid care work every day, and most of it never appears in economic statistics.
Even now, with some outside help, she keeps a big house beautifully, with a great variety of plants and a few fruit trees. If we let her, she will even try to cut the plantains herself! She is always active, she sings well, and she helps anyone who asks, in her own way. I have rarely seen her tired.
The Pillar Behind My Studies
While she ran her own home, she was also my constant pillar of support, especially for studying anything and everything. I was always studying something or the other. When I was away, she looked after my children and gave them their oil baths, as lovingly as she would her own.
I have written about my own study years in Books, a Bulging Tummy and a Dream I Refused to Drop. Behind a study year like that, there is usually a person like her, holding the rest of life steady. The unseen work of mothers and sisters often makes other people’s dreams possible.
Many women put their own plans last because everyone else’s needs come first. If that sounds familiar, you may like my post on why there is no quieter season to start.
What the Unseen Work of Mothers Teaches Us
Watching her all these years, I have taken away three simple lessons.
- Love often looks like repetition. A table wiped a thousand times is a thousand small ways of saying, “I care.”
- Unseen is not unimportant. The unseen work of mothers is the foundation under every exam passed, every journey made and every meal enjoyed.
- Gratitude should be spoken. Do not wait for a special day. Say thank you for the ordinary things.
Here is a small thing to try this week. Pick one thing at home that someone does every day without being asked, and thank them for it, out loud.
To my elder sister: thank you for every shirt folded, every table wiped, every child cared for and every time you were simply there. You may never have been applauded for it, but you are seen, and you are loved.
Whose unseen work holds your home together? Tell me in the comments, and thank them today.