Some milestones celebrate more than academic progress. They celebrate patience, perseverance, and the quiet courage of a woman who refuses to let go of her dream. I felt this when I sat in the audience at my friend Pavithra’s PhD pre-submission seminar. It made me think about what it really takes to be a mother doing a PhD.
Table of Contents
A Seminar That Meant More Than a Presentation
I was happy to be present at Pavithra’s pre-submission seminar recently. This is the stage where a research scholar presents her completed work before the thesis is finally submitted, so it is a big moment for any scholar.
Pavithra and I share a close bond, even though she is younger than me. She invited me personally and asked me to note down the suggestions and corrections the experts gave during her presentation. I was glad to do it, and I took it as a real honour.
Pavithra presented her research on Digital Self-Efficacy. Put simply, it is about how confident people feel when they use digital tools, an idea that grows out of the well-known concept of self-efficacy. The pre-submission was adjudicated by Dr. Sudhir of Gandhigram Rural Institute, Dindigul, Tamil Nadu.
A Teacher Who Became a Mentor
What made the day especially meaningful was seeing Pavithra reach this stage under the guidance of Dr. T. Velayudhan Nair. He had also taught her during her B.Ed. days.
There is something truly special about a teacher who once guided a student in the classroom and later mentors her through a doctoral journey. Having taught in schools myself, I know how rare and precious that is. A good teacher plants a seed in a classroom and may never know how far it travels. Here, he got to watch it grow.
A Mother Doing a PhD: The Years Behind the Seminar
Pavithra’s journey carries another deeply personal dimension. When she began her PhD, her younger child was barely a year old. Today, that little one is growing up and getting ready for school!
Think about what those years hold. A mother doing a PhD does not stop being a mother when the library opens. Family responsibilities, sleepless nights and the demands of doctoral research all arrive together, and none of them waits politely for its turn. Reaching this milestone through all of that is an achievement worth celebrating.
A mother’s journey after marriage and children may not always be easy or straightforward. It calls for determination, resilience, and the willingness to keep moving forward even when the path gets demanding.
What a Mother’s PhD Journey Teaches Us
Watching Pavithra, I took away three simple lessons.
1. Dreams need not be abandoned
When life brings new responsibilities, many women quietly shelve their own plans. The story of a mother doing a PhD is a reminder that we can learn to pursue our dreams differently instead of dropping them.
2. Slow progress is still progress
A baby becomes a schoolgoer, and a research idea becomes a finished study. Both happen in small, unglamorous steps over many months. Time passes anyway, so the days we spend moving forward are never wasted.
3. The right mentor lightens the road
A guide who believes in you, and who has known you since your student days, makes a hard journey feel less lonely. A mother doing a PhD needs that kind of support more than most.
I know a little of this road myself. My own PhD began after a career break and years of family responsibilities, and I wrote about what people rarely see behind such a journey in What They Don’t See When They Say “Wow, You’re Doing a PhD”. If you would like another story of a dream refused, here is how I kept studying through pregnancy in Books, a Bulging Tummy and a Dream I Refused to Drop.
There is one more thing I will admit. At every pre-submission seminar I attend, I find myself dreaming of the day it will be my turn. Now that my own study is taking shape, that day feels a little closer, and I have already picked out the dress I will wear!
Wishing Pavithra the Very Best
Dear Pavithra, I wish you the very best for the next stage of your doctoral journey. May your Open Defence take place as scheduled, and may you soon celebrate the successful completion of this long-cherished goal.
Here’s to your perseverance, your achievement, and the many possibilities that lie ahead! And to every other mother doing a PhD tonight, after the children are asleep: keep going.
If you are a mother doing a PhD, or dreaming of one, or putting a different dream on hold for your family, I would love to hear your story. Tell me in the comments. Which dream would you start pursuing again, even in a small way?